The Mother Ship Has Landed

Did I ever tell you about the time that I conversed with my inspiration, Jenny the Bloggess, and it was everything I ever dreamed of?
No?
Well read on, bitches.

For my birthday, my dear friend Nikki (who, as you know since you read my blog religiously, was the first person to tell me about theBloggess), asked Jenny to wish me a happy birthday.
Well, she did. And it was magical.

Here's our (not-so) little correspondence:
Please note that if you don’t read theBloggess, some of this may be a tad confusing/odd/insane/puzzling/perplexing/racist/mystifying/bewildering/baffling. See what I did there?

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MEGAN!

Your awesomely wonderful friend Nikki asked if I'd wish you a happy
birthday and I was all "Of course!" so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Except that today
isn't really your birthday but I'm too irresponsible to remember things
that I'm not thinking about right that second so I've decided that your
birthday is now September 29th. Except I think it's Sept 30th in your
time zone now. Is Arizona ahead of Texas or behind Texas? Am I in Texas?
God, I'm drunk. I'm totally fucking this birthday thing all up. I suck.
Thank God I'm only messing up your fake birthday and not your real
birthday. It's almost like I planned it this way. In fact, yeah. I
TOTALLY planned it this way. I am a total genius.

So happy birthday. You are more awesome than pie. And pie is pretty damn
awesome.


~Jenny

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JENNY!

Wow. I was completely NOT expecting that – but what a wonderful drunken surprise. I'm sure Nikki (my totally awesome friend) mentioned what a fan I am of yours – and probably said something creepy like "she always says you two would be friends if you hung out together." Which is totally NOT true... unless you want to hang out, in which case we'll totally be bffs and make inappropriate comments at inopportune moments.

As for the time zone issue... I'm not quite sure how it works because Arizona is in some sort of time-space continuum which doesn't celebrate daylight savings. And by celebrate, I mean move their clocks forward or backward by an hour based on the time of year... I don't mean put on a party hat and/or dress up like father time and throw a kegger. THAT would be weird…but also an awesome idea for my birthday party theme. Hold please while I make a note to myself..........

I've never had a better fake birthday, and I have you to thank for that. I feel like the little engine that got a totally awesome surprise even though she pulled into the birthday station a little too early.

Thanks for that.
Megan

PS – I know Nikki probably made me sound like a stalker... so I thought this may come in handy... I've attached a picture of myself. Remember this face, beatch! (Please print and put on your fridge.)




Note - Nikki took this picture – good use of irony.
Disclaimer: I am not the little engine that didn’t care for Asians, although my picture may seem otherwise.

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You are awesome. I totally snorted at that picture. You look like the
OCD girl from Glee. That's a compliment, by the way.

And you didn't sound like a stalker at all. Unless you're the person
outside my window right now in which case, GO AWAY. I don't answer the
door when Victor's not here so stop peeking at me. I know you see me but
I'm pretending I don't exist. And you are making it difficult. Oh fuck.
It's my neighbor. Now he thinks I'm purposely avoiding him. Awesome.

Happy birthday, little engine that isn't a stalker.

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I thought you should know that on Saturday, when I'm blowing out my candles and making a wish... I'll be wishing that I receive a picture of my face on your fridge.
Totally kidding
...I'm not that creepy.
But totally really going to wish for it.

(Usually I would think that that's crossing a line... but then I realized I'm talking to a person that asked William Shitner (misspelling intended) to bring a prostitute over to her house to save her marriage. ...I think I'm safe.)


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True. I have no room to judge. And I'd put your face on my fridge if I
had a printer. I blame my non-existent printer.

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And that's the end of our first conversation.
Yes, I said first... there have been more. Probably because I'm awesome.
I'll post our other exchanges in the future.

Oh, and for those of you that are total idiots and don't watch Glee, here's a picture of the OCD Girl that Jenny compared me too: