Inspiration... And Minor Animal Cruelty.

So my obsession with blogging/bloggers all started when my friend Nikki recommended a site called "thebloggess.com."

Nikki: You have to read thebloggess, she's hysterical… and what makes it even better… she totally sounds just like you!

Me: First off, what the hell is a bloggess, and secondly, if you're "reading," then how does she sound like me. Idiot.

Nikki: Her real name is Jenny, she just goes by thebloggess, and I mean that her sarcasm and wit totally remind me of you.

Me: Is that a compliment or is she an asshole?

Nikki: Compliment. ...When I read her blog, I totally hear your voice in my head, and it makes it that much funnier for me.

Me: Seek help.

Nikki: ...

Me: I’ll check it out now. Love and miss.

Nikki: You'll love it. My sister passed it on to me, and I can't stop reading it.

Me: Whatever, bye.


<<5 Minutes Later>>


Ring, Ring

Nikki: Hello?

Me: OMG THEBLOGGESS IS THE SHIT. IT'S LIKE SHE'S IN MY MIND. I LOVE HER. I WANT TO BE HER BEST FRIEND.

Nikki: I know right?! Told you.

Me: Yeah yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I'm now going to claim her as mine. Sooooo, thanks.

Nikki: Yeah, enjoy that.

Me: Okay, leave me alone, I need to get back to reading...there's like 100 pages archived on this bad boy that I need to get thru.

Nikki: Dear God.

Me: BYE.


<<5 Minutes Later>>


Ring, Ring

Nikki: WHAT?!

Me: OH MY GOD, did you read the one about her leaving notes for her husband...stapled to her cat?!!? I WOULD TOTALLY DO THAT.

Nikki: I think she was speaking figuratively... that would be animal cruelty.

Me: Whatever, it gets the point across that I mean business.

Nikki: Yeah, I totally pictured you doing it. It's kind of sad that I can picture you stapling things to harmless animals...and that I actually laughed at it.

Me: WHATEVER it's totally awesome. I need to get a cat.

Nikki: You hate animals.

Me: I'll be stapling things to it.

Nikki: True.

Me: Gotta go to the cat store. Love and miss you, bye!

Nikki: ...

<< Click >>


And here I am, 3 months later starting my own blog with a cat covered in post-its.

Since I don't live with anyone, and therefore can't use the cat to send angry messages to those I "love" (bad planning on my part...), I started using the cat to leave reminders for myself to do shit. Kind of like a refrigerator, only better... because it's a cat. Anyway, I kept leaving reminders to start a blog on his (or her...I haven’t really been too interested to know), furry little body.
One problem: CATS HAVE FREAKIN LEGS. Now all I see is this ball of post-it's run across my floor that I chase after to see what the fuck I should be doing instead of watching Golden Girls. I really wish he/she wouldn't run from me, but I think maybe the staplegun scared him/her away.

However, lucky for me, and now you, one of the post-its FINALLY fell off, and I found it on the kitchen floor.

"START YOUR OWN DAMN BLOG and buy tampons."

And here we are.

So, I'd like to thank Jenny for inspiring me, Nikki for providing the inspiration, and the faulty staple that fell out of my cat that made this blog happen.