...with a boner update that will be HARD to ignore. It will definitely be the CLIMAX of you day.
Okay, I just threw up in my mouth, so enough with that.
First off, I would like to apologize for sucking major balls and not posting at all in the last week and a half. There's no excuse... and I will spend the rest of my days trying to make it up to you.
Let's begin, shall we?
As you may recall, if you reach far back into the bowels of your memory, I not-so-recently had a marketing class focused solely on boners... and it was just as amazing as I had anticipated. Lets just say I took a page worth of notes outlining everything inappropriate my teacher said.
It got to the point that people in class (who so kindly read my blog) would turn around and say "write that down!" once my teacher made an innuendo or showed a video... oh yes, there were videos.
Let's start with the fact that during our lecture, PRIOR to our boner conversation, my teacher's "real world" examples of marketing strategies revolved around pregnancy tests and condoms. I.kid.you.not.
She showed us how packaging and branding change based on the person's situation/needs.
Awesome.
Next, she showed us a website called "the man lair" which amazingly displays the tag-line "Pimp My Bed." After she showed us around the site, and the different ways a man can "pimp their bed" (and me blurting out "I want one!"), she then said, "If you want to share your bed with a woman EVER, this is probably not a good idea."
Dammit.
Next, we saw a music video on YouTube for "Baby Got Back" cerca Burger King's attempt at being young and hip, and offensive. I'm not sure what SpongeBob has to do with ass-shakin' hoes...but clearly they saw the connection. At the end of the video, my teacher said, "now that's a lot of booty shakin'!"
Fantastic.
My professor then decided to go a little gay on me, and not in a good way. She displayed an ad for a hotel that showed a bed with four naked legs popping out from under the sheets... four hairy legs. And I'm not talking about Mo'nique hairy... I'm talkin' man legs.
Gay-tastic.
Once we got into the discussion of Cialis and Viagra, I was already spent... but I took notes BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
Professor: "What does the association of "V" to Viagra conjure in your mind?"
Class Answers: "Vigorous!" "Vitality!" ...
Guy Next to Me: (in a whisper) Vagina...
Me: HIGH FIVE!
My teacher then went on to compare the two companies... leading to this gem -
Professor: "They were trying to beat their strategy... wow... we ned to be careufl about what we say in reference to the market... no one say "market penetration!""
The discussion went on and on and I tried HARD not to laugh/giggle/vomit... but my teacher, and fellow students, made that quite difficult.
The end of class was most definitely the CLIMAX, when she closed with this bad boy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NrNJpSGxmk
...I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
On a totally un-related note that has NOTHING to do with boners, or the male species in general, I would like to congratulate two of my (only) readers on their amazing / wonderful / orgasmic decision to get married.
Congrats Andrea and Maggie!!
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you know how i told you a girl at my office sounds like you? well she also apparently thinks like you --- she is doing an ad site for an archery company --- and said she can't help but laugh at how dirty what she wrote sounds...because it'll help you maximize your penetration...
ReplyDeleteMaximize penetration AND get it in the center circle.
ReplyDeleteAWW! Thanks for the shout out!
ReplyDelete