Shit My Professor Says

Okay, seriously? I've been dreading the start of my Macroeconomics class for weeks.

Nothing sounds even remotely intriguing to me about the topic...and I'm sure anyone with a pulse would agree.

However, after sitting in this class for two and a half hours (and I'm still here), things are looking up. My professor is insane. Quite literally. I've already suggested a drinking game with my classmates to bring alcohol next week and drink whenever he says something inappropriate. One problem: I'd be blacked out twenty minutes into class.

While entertaining, it actually makes me uncomfortable.

He's old enough to be my grandpa and he looks like a cross between Leslie Nielsen and Phil Donahue. I want him to talk about his loving wife, grandkids, and summers on his yacht... not circle jerks and orgies.

Okay, I'm being discriminatory. If you told me I would have a professor that talked about all of the above, I would be PUMPED. Age discrimination is a terrible thing.

I think that's what I'll take from this class... not the offensive language or economics.


Lets review the last 210 minutes:


"In my older years, I've found one thing... I'm really good at pissing people off"

"It was pretty much a giant circle jerk" - on going to school at Duke.

"What were the soldiers doing in Europe? Getting laid" - on Vietnam.

"I could chop my legs off and paint my skin..." - sadly, I missed what he was referring to, but either way I'm offended.

"I did my dissertation on fertility cycles of women... it was great field work."

"You know people that are brutally honest? ...... Assholes."

"Lets have a toga party and just orgy out up in here" - His suggestion to the ASU Board for where to donate funds.

"You must reward productive people, and punish jack-offs." - one of his "Basic Truths" of economics (he also wrote this on the board).

"From what I've heard, they should have just shot him at birth..."

(This one's non verbal) - < MIDDLE FINGER >

"RAT BASTARDS!!!!!"

"BULLSHIT!!!!!"

"...is like making a celibate monk the head of the Playboy mansion... you may know in theory what's going on, but you have no practical knowledge."



I'll leave you with that.