I blame Lea.
The night began with me hijacking LaVonda, and another one of my lovely classmates (we'll call her Lacey), and forcing them to sit thru my softball games. See, they were both drunk from our happy hour, and we had big plans to stalk that night post-game. So, they came to cheer me on because
a) they're good friends
b) they had no choice
c) we needed to haul ass to downtown Phoenix as soon as the games were over.
ANYWAY, once the games were over, at 10:30pm, Kelsey, LaVonda, and I made our way back to the apartment to change and begin our mission. Lacey went home at this point because she had an early call for work. LAMEEEEEEE. I forgive her though, because 5am comes early...as I soon learned.
THE PLAN OF THE NIGHT: We go to the Wyndham.
See, my previous information had been off. The glast was staying at neither the Hyatt or the Sheraton. Oopsie.
In fact, they were at the Wyndham the whole damn time.
Anyway, the plan was this: Go and sit at the Wyndham until they walked by.
It's so simple - it's genius.
Our thoughts were this - No matter what, they would have to enter or leave the building at some given point. And, since they were most likely out at the bar that night, we had a distinct chance of seeing them coming home drunk and horny... AKA the BEST POSSIBLE TIME EVER.
So, we parked a block away from the Wyndham and made our way inside... trying to act like we belonged. Much to my pleasure, there was a bar situated right by the entrance that gave us a full view of the lobby. PERFECT.
We went and sat down and ordered a few drinks - mostly because if I was about to see a drunken Dianna, I would probably need to be buzzed as well to get up the courage to fondle and seduce her.
I nursed my beer, and we all chatted about our day, our lives, our jobs, etc... However, every time a door opened or the elevator 'dinged,' I would stretch my neck like a meerkat popping out of its hole and whisper/say louder than I intended, "LEA?!"
This soon began to wear on LaVonda and Kelsey... bless their souls.
While we were sitting and chatting, I rummaged through my purse to find my camera, when I came across awesomeness wrapped in a bow. A green and red bow, to be exact.
I evidently had not used the purse I had taken that night since December... when I attended a Christmas party.
There, sitting in my bag, as if Buddy the Elf had placed them there himself, were a pair of elf shoes. I immediately pulled them out, excited at the possibilities.
And this is why I'm friends with LaVonda:
There, in the middle of the hotel, with the possibility of Puck walking in at any moment, she decided to rock the elf shoes... and put them on display.
Incredible awesomeness.
After that, we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Then, LaVonda's man friend came to visit and joined us for a drink.
And we waited.
Then, man friend asked why we were there, to which I (not-so) proudly admitted to our stalking mission.
And we waited.
The waitress came by to bring us our bill.
Man friend ASKED HER WHEN PUCK WOULD ARRIVE.
I died a little and started to perspire profusely.
Kelsey looked like she was ready to flee the premises and life in general.
LaVonda told him to shut up and punched him.
The waitress looked dumbfounded and said she didn't know who Puck was.
LIAR.
She walked away.
We waited...again.
Finally, at 1:15am, we surrendered.
After all, the cast was due to be at a local radio station at 6am...surely they weren't still out partying.
We said our goodbyes, and went our separate ways.
As Kelsey and I made our way back to the car, we passed by the Starbucks that the ENTIRE glast was reported to had been at earlier that day for lunch.
I had to have a picture.
Note: that picture took four tries.
Once we arrived home, exhausted and worn out, I got ready for bed.
Then, I heard my phone buzz on the counter.
I went over.
Amber Riley (aka Mercedes): Just got back to the hotel! Nothing will top this night! Thanks Hemo =)
FML.
It was at that point I decided to get up at 5am to intercept the glast at the radio station. Avoiding me was not going to work, gleeks.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of "Lea Michele is Avoiding Me and I'm Developing a Complex."
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