Grocery Stores are Overtly Sexual and a Little Bit Gay.

Last night the girlfriend and I went grocery shopping and I came to a stunning realization.

Grocery stores are gay.

As we meandered through the isles of condoms and cereal, images of gaymos invaded my periphery. Lets take a look at some samples, shall we?


Exhibit A:



Now, you may be thinking "well, the cereal is called "Good Friends" and those ladies are just good chums. But, lets review this scenario. Cereal, if I'm not mistaken, is a morning food. You wake up, get OUT OF BED, pour yourself (and your lover) a bowl, and enjoy. So my question to you is, why are these two women so happy about their cereal?! Probably because they got laid last night - by each other.


Exhibit B:



"They're best friends!"
No, they're not. I had "best friends" growing up... and my "Life" is quite gay.


Still not buying it?
Lesbots aren't the only gaymos targeted in stores. Gay men, and even straight women are also victims of this sexual propaganda.


Exhibit C:



I'm sorry, is that a one eyed monster in the shape of a penis-cap?
Yes, it is.


After walking around and taking pictures throughout the grocery store, and Kelsey patiently putting up with my insanity, we went to go get some apples. Kelsey then asked me which kind I like... to which I walked around and found the kind I enjoy... I pointed to them, which resulted in Kelsey laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Those are gala apples. GAY-la...apples."



I rest my case.